Fugly
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2000
January
February
March
April
May
Your Fugly WhoreOscope for:

Tuesday
June 20, 2000


By Madame Borkofski
June 2000
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Aquarius

Aries

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

Leo

Libra

Pisces

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Taurus

Virgo
Gemini
May. 21 - Jun. 21
You are fun-loving, gentle, and a great dresser. That's right, your gay! Let the wife down easy.
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Don't bother getting a second opinion, it's definitely cancer.
Leo
July 22 - Aug. 23
Leo the Lion is known for eating the flesh of those weaker and smaller than he. But that doesn't give you an excuse to do it for real.
Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
You can expect some hardships in the near future. This is the time to rely on the love of family and friends and your unwavering faith in Satan.
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
(Retractrion) Last week, the stars and Jupiter told you to kill your family with your bare hands. Whoops! What they meant to say was thrill your family - with a surprise vacation to Disney Land!
Scorpio
Oct. 22 - Nov. 22
Dark forces are conspiring to make you cut your mullet. Don't listen to them! That haircut goes great with your Nascar T-shirt!
Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
Dark forces are conspiring to make you wash your Nascar T-shirt.
Capricorn
Dec. 21 - Jan. 20
You are feeling lonely this month. Maybe you should consider getting a pet? But not a cat or a dog. Everyone has those pets. Why not try a pet boy? You can get one for free. They are everywhere. And they respond well to candy.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 19
Your Camaro is broken down in the front yard and your lady hasn't been home for days. It's miller time.
Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
You feel good today. Maybe you should stop being so selfish. There are children dying in the streets. Do you think that they feel good today? Well? Do you? You make the stars sick.
Aries
March 20- April 19
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the weight of the world? Sometimes you just have to stop to look at the little things in life. Like midgets. They are little. But damn, they sure are fun to look at.
Taurus
April 19 - May 20
When life gets you down and you just want to go to sleep but you can't sleep because you have too much to think about and you just can't fall asleep, just remember; 10 sleeping pills will knock you the fuck out.
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