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Your Fugly WhoreOscope for:

Thursday
June 1, 2000


By Fugly.com
June 2000
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Aquarius

Aries

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

Leo

Libra

Pisces

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Taurus

Virgo
Gemini
May. 21 - Jun. 21
Are you really suprised at what you saw? Look at how much weight you've gained since the holidays. Jesus Christ. You're as fat as a house. Nobody would fuck you now even if you paid them.
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Deal with any unfavorable situations before they get out of hand. Compromise if you wish to keep your present relationship. Your mate may be uncertain about his or her feelings toward you. He or she is right to think this, and will soon learn the truth about your sexuality. Come on, anyone could have seen it coming. Look at the way you dress for Christ's sake. It's so fucking obvious.
Leo
July 22 - Aug. 23
You can make financial gains if you are prepared to take a risk. This is a great day to get out and enjoy an entertaining evening with friends or lovers. What have you got to lose at this point? At least you won't have to buy condoms anymore. You're looking a bit thin.
Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
You'll probably spend some time thinking about your life and how to get out of the rut you've been feeling lately. It will do you no good. You're better off drinking to dull the pain. You're friends all think you're contemplating suicide.
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
Oh man, are you in trouble. Everyone knows exactly what you did. Boy, am I glad I'm not you.
Scorpio
Oct. 22 - Nov. 22
Have you been feeling kinda yucky lately? Well have ya?! Punk! Well, you may need to come out of your shell and get some things off your chest. You and someone close may not be seeing eye to eye. So see if you can work things out, and if not, poke out both of their eyes.
Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
You may be feeling like keeping to yourself, but it's only a symptom of your progressing schitzophrenia. That's okay - you've got a lot of work to do. Get stuff done, and hang with friends when you're more in the mood. Quit talking to yourself.
Capricorn
Dec. 21 - Jan. 20
That ugly sore near your genitals will develop into somethign really nasty. Don't pick at it, or it will get worse. Quit playing with yourself and wash your hands more often. Weirdo.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 19
You'll be tempted to travel regardless of cost or distance. Try to mix business with pleasure if you are going to make the journey. Take this opportunity to cheat on your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. If you're not currently involved with anyone, just have careless, unprotected sex with a total stranger while you're away. You only live once! Your breath smells terrible. Do something about it.
Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
You may have to run around like a mad-man right now even though you may wish you could have stayed at home under the covers. There's something you should probably talk about with your family. Don't get into an automobile today or you'll be killed.
Aries
March 20- April 19
Arguments will cause setbacks to your professional goals, but you don't really give a fuck, do you?. Problems with health will prevail if you don't eliminate the stress in your life. You must address the problems if you want to turn things around. Those voices in your head will only get louder unless you do what they say. Libra is plotting against you. You'd better arm yourself.
Taurus
April 19 - May 20
Getting along with your sweetie could seem like it's the hardest thing to do these days. That has to be one of the most annoying bitches you've ever gone out with. When are you going to get rid of that annoying cunt?
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