Fugly
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2002
January
February
March
April
May
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October
Your Fugly WhoreOscope for:

Monday
December 30, 2002


By L.T. Jackson
Decembere 2002
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Aquarius

Aries

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

Leo

Libra

Pisces

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Taurus

Virgo
Capricorn
Dec. 21 - Jan. 20
Getting clear orders may be hard, especially when you're in a crack stupor. Although you've been called a rock monkey, don't stress it. Whitey just cant understand what its like to be a black man in America today.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 19
Say no to a financial risk, no matter how good the deal looks. If the guy is screamin 3 for 20, more than likely you're buying pieces of soap you stupid inbred motherfucker!
Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
If you're worried about which way to go, maybe you need a good adviser. Or maybe you need a good beat down. I mean so good you have to go to the hospital. Yeah that's what you need you piece of shit. You know, you're a load that should have been swallowed.
Aries
March 20- April 19
If you're frustrated with your job or feel you're not doing it as well as you'd like, quit. Why not leech off of the rest of society and apply for welfare, just like your parents did. Nobody is expecting any better from you.
Taurus
April 19 - May 20
You and your sweetheart could have a hard time making the connection, but don't give up. Don't let a temporary setback like chlamydia ruin your day either. That's why they created the free clinic. For oxygen thieves like you
Gemini
May. 21 - Jun. 21
You'd sure like the job to be easier than it is. A household chore's the last thing you want to spend spare time doing. All of a sudden the title 'crack whore' doesn't seem so appealing does it? Now get back to work before you gets a beatin' ho!
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Some of your worries are groundless. Some are based on good hunches. Like the blisters on your genitals. Those are good hunch. that's what you get for being a white devil. You honkey motherfucker!
Leo
July 22 - Aug. 23
Don't let a misunderstanding about money ruin a good friendship - or marriage. Love's the most important thing, right? What did you think he or she was going to do with it? Go buy some food? Are you stupid? Or retarded?
Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
You're sharp, so sharp you didn't realize that the stench of the methamphetamine lab in your kid's room was bothering the neighbors. Too bad. It's your property, so it's your contraband. I hope you get ass raped in prison for being a dumb ass cracka'!
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
You may have travel plans, but don't overlook details. Make lists, count your money and get prepared. And trust me, the ghetto is very scenic this time of year. Hell, bring the kids! We need some pee-wee's to help us push tha' rock.
Scorpio
Oct. 22 - Nov. 22

You might be able to help friends who are in a jam. They're under attack and need facts quickly. Like when the officer asks you "who's pipe is this" remeber to say "Yo foo' dat's his pipe." Your friend will appreciate your candor while he's sitting in county for three months.

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
You know what an older person wants you to do, but are you willing to do it? Just because your 13 doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And hey look at the positive side, for a 36 year old, he may not have many teeth, but he has a killer-fucking trailer.
 
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