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January
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February
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March
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April
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May
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June
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July
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August
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September
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October
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Decembere
2002
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S
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M
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T
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W
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T
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F
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S
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1
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3
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4
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5
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6
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7
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8
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10
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11
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12
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13
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14
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15
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17
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18
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19
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20
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21
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22
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24
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25
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26
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27
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28
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29
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31
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Aquarius
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Aries |
Cancer |
Capricorn |
Gemini |
Leo |
Libra |
Pisces |
Sagittarius |
Scorpio |
Taurus |
Virgo |
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Capricorn
Dec.
21 - Jan. 20
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Getting
clear orders may be hard, especially when you're in a crack stupor.
Although you've been called a rock monkey, don't stress it. Whitey
just cant understand what its like to be a black man in America today. |
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Aquarius
Jan.
20 - Feb. 19
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Say
no to a financial risk, no matter how good the deal looks. If the
guy is screamin 3 for 20, more than likely you're buying pieces of
soap you stupid inbred motherfucker! |
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Pisces
Feb.
19 - March 20
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If
you're worried about which way to go, maybe you need a good adviser.
Or maybe you need a good beat down. I mean so good you have to go
to the hospital. Yeah that's what you need you piece of shit. You
know, you're a load that should have been swallowed. |
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Aries
March
20- April 19
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If
you're frustrated with your job or feel you're not doing it as well
as you'd like, quit. Why not leech off of the rest of society and
apply for welfare, just like your parents did. Nobody is expecting
any better from you. |
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Taurus
April
19 - May 20
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You
and your sweetheart could have a hard time making the connection,
but don't give up. Don't let a temporary setback like chlamydia ruin
your day either. That's why they created the free clinic. For oxygen
thieves like you |
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Gemini
May.
21 - Jun. 21
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You'd
sure like the job to be easier than it is. A household chore's the
last thing you want to spend spare time doing. All of a sudden the
title 'crack whore' doesn't seem so appealing does it? Now get back
to work before you gets a beatin' ho! |
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Cancer
June
21 - July 22
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Some
of your worries are groundless. Some are based on good hunches. Like
the blisters on your genitals. Those are good hunch. that's what you
get for being a white devil. You honkey motherfucker! |
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Leo
July
22 - Aug. 23
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Don't
let a misunderstanding about money ruin a good friendship - or marriage.
Love's the most important thing, right? What did you think he or she
was going to do with it? Go buy some food? Are you stupid? Or retarded? |
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Virgo
Aug.
23 - Sept. 22
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You're
sharp, so sharp you didn't realize that the stench of the methamphetamine
lab in your kid's room was bothering the neighbors. Too bad. It's
your property, so it's your contraband. I hope you get ass raped in
prison for being a dumb ass cracka'! |
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Libra
Sept.
22 - Oct. 22
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You
may have travel plans, but don't overlook details. Make lists, count
your money and get prepared. And trust me, the ghetto is very scenic
this time of year. Hell, bring the kids! We need some pee-wee's to
help us push tha' rock. |
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Scorpio
Oct.
22 - Nov. 22
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You might be
able to help friends who are in a jam. They're under attack and
need facts quickly. Like when the officer asks you "who's pipe is
this" remeber to say "Yo foo' dat's his pipe." Your friend will
appreciate your candor while he's sitting in county for three months.
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Sagittarius
Nov.
22 - Dec. 21
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You
know what an older person wants you to do, but are you willing to
do it? Just because your 13 doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And
hey look at the positive side, for a 36 year old, he may not have
many teeth, but he has a killer-fucking trailer. |
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