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Friday
April 13, 2001


By L.T. Jackson

April 2001
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Aquarius

Aries

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

Leo

Libra

Pisces

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Taurus

Virgo
Aries
March 20- April 19
Don't be lettin your current position go to your head, muffugah. Keep in mind that leadership tends to be da hollow exercise without a damn bit of compassion and justice. As the Moon moves into a new Sign, youse have the opportunity to be a muthafuckin force for good in a world full of shit. Dats right nigga! Until a cop shoots you in the back, that is. Kill da' white man!!
Taurus
April 19 - May 20
Examine what you say very carefully before you open yo' bitch ass mouth. No matter where you be, you should always be keepin' in mind that the same words carry different meanings from one culture to da next, Dat's Right, telling dat nigger joke makes yo a man at the water cooler, but it makes your punk ass a white corpse in MY neighborhood, motha' fucka'.
Gemini
May. 21 - Jun. 21
Don't be lettin' yo'self get too distracted over the course of the day, nigga. No matter how much dat pipe keeps callin you, dat fuckin car better be sittun right her when I get out of the fuckin bank!
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
You've traveled this path before, but suddenly nothing seems all that familiar. Ready or not, the tide is turning. Oh wait, no it ain't. Aint that three stikes law a bitch? Well maybe you should drink forty's instead of diddling little kids, you sick fucking white devil.
Leo
July 22 - Aug. 23
Some biotches gets all the luck, and right now you is one lucky biotch! As the Moon moves into a new sign, fames and forchoons buy you yet another round. Its too bad that this won't last forever tho. Grab all of the gusto while you can, Leo. In another day or two, you just become another ho suckin' dick fo' a rock.

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
Don't be upset. Juss cause L.T. gots all tha' bling-bling and you don't, you stank ass ho.
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
You imagination is especially keen these days. If you can conjure the idea of it up in yo head, you have a good chance of pasin the time, bitch. Just pertend the bunkmate dat's fuckin you is your girlfriend with a strap-on, you blue eyed devil.
Scorpio
Oct. 22 - Nov. 22

What's gotten into you, nigga? Despite your better judgment, a trend be sweeping you off yo' feet. Even though getting caught up in a crowd mentality usually isn't yo' style, today you somehow find it liberating. Too bad the crowd be a bunch of leather wearin' homos. What tha' fuck is up wit dat, yo?

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
After everything dat's gone on in these last couple of days, you might be wondering how your life can get any better! Well, Sagittarius, even though further betterments seems impossible, somehow dey just keep on happenin'. All week no one has taken yo' dinner tray, and you haven't had to toss your bunkmates salad! Now if the ass rapin' would end, maybe you can be a man again. But we all doubt that.
Capricorn
Dec. 21 - Jan. 20
Today be a good day to take responsobilty fo' yo' actions! You made the babies, you needs to pay for the little bitches. And tell yo' babies momma to keep those little bastids' out of the fuckin' street!
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 19
As the Moon begins to move into a new Sign today, you be wishing for mo' carefree days. The further you get from the weekend, the mo you relise how much you really suck. No one wants to be a crackhead, they just end up that way, now pass the pipe, nigga.
Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
For some reason that is probably buried deep in yo' subconscious, you like to be around people who you perceive to be better than you, playa. That being said, stop tryin to be a cracka ass cracka, befo' me and The Honerable Malcom Jamal Wasingon Mustafah X beat some black pride into your wanna-be ass. You is a black man! Be proud and TURN THAT FUCKING BRITNEY SPEARS SHIT OFF NOW, YO!
 
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