Fugly
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2000
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Your Fugly WhoreOscope for:

Tuesday
October 3, 2000


By depravedkiller
October 2000
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Aquarius

Aries

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

Leo

Libra

Pisces

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Taurus

Virgo
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
A detail you've overlooked could sneak up and bite you. Remember what it was and get it handled. Retrace your steps and wipe up any blood that you may have missed.
Scorpio
Oct. 22 - Nov. 22

A lot of money's changing hands, and some may be yours. Two men are splitting up the money they stole from you right now! Hahaha! You sucker!

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
If you're getting chewed out for something that's not your fault, hang in there. Hang in there until the very last minute. You want to build up as much rage as possible before you snap and beat their face in. Use a rock or a brick.
Capricorn
Dec. 21 - Jan. 20
What you thought was going to be difficult is easy, but what you thought would be easy could be way too difficult. I'm talking about breathing. Breathing, although usually fairly easy for you, will become very very difficult later today.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 19
You may have to change your plans to accommodate an older person. Isn't that the way it always works? Why should you have to change your plans for them? You should have moved out of town when you could; or put them in a nursing home. You idiot. Now you'll be cleaning up puke and dirty adult-diapers all week.
Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
Don't get in the middle of somebody else's battle. Instead, see if you can instigate it even further. Maybe you'll get to see a good fist fight. Place sharp objects around the room where they'll be in easy reach. To get things going, use phrases like "Are you going to let him talk to you like that, you pussy!?"
Aries
March 20- April 19
Spontaneous Human Combustion. Sorry.
Taurus
April 19 - May 20
Everybody's asking how you're doing on the job that's underway. Little do they know that, as usual, you haven't done a god damn thing. You're going to get fired. You're a loser. Good luck lying your way out of this one, dickhead.
Gemini
May. 21 - Jun. 21
You're looking good. As a matter of fact, you've never looked better. The problem is you're acting like a complete dick. Why don't you quit talking so much, you annoying jerk?
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Something that you thought would work well could backfire. Be careful. Later this afternoon you'll get your arm caught in some machinery and it will be torn right off of your body. Better leave your watch at home. No sense ruing a perfectly good watch.
Leo
July 22 - Aug. 23
Try to avoid arguing about money with your sweetheart. If he or she starts to give you a hard time about it, beat him or her. That's right. Beat him or her with a wire clothes hanger. That will teach him or her who's boss.
Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
You're in a snippy mood, so take care. Something you say could upset the other person more than you thought it would. This is not all your fault. A lot of it has to do with how much whiskey your mother drank while she was pregnant with you. You're dumb.
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