Fugly
Did you know?... Most people who read the word 'yawning' will yawn!
2000
January
February
March
April
May
Your Fugly WhoreOscope for:

Wednesday
August 9, 2000


By Borkofski
August 2000
S
M
T
W
T
F
S
_
_
2
5
6
7
8
12
13
15
17
18
19
20
21
23
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
_
_


Aquarius

Aries

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

Leo

Libra

Pisces

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Taurus

Virgo
Leo
July 22 - Aug. 23
What are you, fucken DEAF!? You don't listen! Those ugly things on the sides of your head are there for a reason, dumb ass. Not just to hold up your faggot sunglasses.
Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
Paranoid, schizophrenic bastard; you live in your own psycho realm with no concept of reality. Don't take everything so fucken personally, you pussy. The world does NOT revolve around YOU.
Libra
Sept. 22 - Oct. 22
Stop feeling sorry for yourself you fucken pansy and start some shit!! Become buds with the craziest homeless guy you can find and give him one of those shiny new silver dollars for every stranger he shoves in front of a bus. Haha! That's fun.
Scorpio
Oct. 22 - Nov. 22

Be aware your boss is going to try to take advantage of you today. May I suggest spiking the asshole's coffee with the newest date rape drug technology can offer? Then use your imagination for the rest (remember, your boss's gender is irrelevant in these circumcis- I mean circumstances). I'm up after you...

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
You think you are cute and funny but actually the reason you're attracting so much attention today is because you smell like shit!!! Don't you know that hippy crystal shit deodorant doesn't work?! And damn, your breath smells like something crawled into your mouth and died (like three months ago). Lay off the corned beef or something, christ... I can't believe you can stand to be around yourself.
Capricorn
Dec. 21 - Jan. 20
The stars tell me that you're becoming a couch potato- but in a bad way. You are becoming old and fat and smelly. Stop watching so much TV; it corrupts your mind. Why don't you join the rest of society you freak and try the Atkins diet? Go outside, kill some animals with your bare hands, and chow down. You'll feel much better about yourself.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 19
How many times have I told you, you have to beat your woman to get her to respect you!!! I f she makes it to the shelter you're not doing it right!!!!! Make her call you daddy in between punches. Trust me, she loves it, tough guy.
Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
Getting brought down by the man are you? Don't let society dictate what you do with your life. Quit your greasy ass job, drop your seven bastard children off at your crackwhore ex girl's squat, and follow the Christina A. tour. GO!!!! Be her weenie in a bottle. She deserves your complete attention starting NOW...
Aries
March 20- April 19
You can NOT be serious about going back to school. College is for people who can't think for themselves and need other 'smart' people to tell them what the fuck's going on. Then again, maybe you do need to go back to school you fucken retard.
Taurus
April 19 - May 20
A wise man recently said, "Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken". However, sticking a dick in your mouth DOES make you a COCKSUCKER, you homo. Keep your poopy dick away from me or I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck.
Gemini
May. 21 - Jun. 21
Wipe that shit-eating grin off of your face, you stupid fuck. Get ready to be completely humiliated today, all because of your big head (yeah, dream on, you know which head).
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
You sick little shit!!!! How could you?!!! You're going to have to do ten MILLION hail Marys for penance, you fucken pervert!!!! I hope you burn in hell for what you've done!!!! And don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about you fucken prick.
Contact | Privacy | Copyright