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Chinese Whore-O-Scope


Thursday
February 22, 2001



By Kimmy Su
February 2001
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Rat

Ox

Tiger

Rabbit

Dragon

Snake

Horse

Goat

Monkey

Rooster

Dog

Pig
Rat
1900 1912 1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996

Today is day for work. Keep nose to grindstone. Seriousree. Put big disgusting American nose on a grindstone. You have big nose and people see you pick it. You gross, roundeye.

Ox
1901 1913 1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997
Get up get get get get and get down, nine one one is joke in your town. Later you will die on way to hospital.
Tiger
1902 1914 1926 1938 1950 1962 1974 1986 1998
Are too many demands being put on your time? You need a partner. Some one who is willing to take a risk. Some one who will draw attention away from you while you figure out what to do next. Some one who you can blame all of this shit on, and then betray, and laugh at behind their back like you always do. Maybe this is why you have no partner. You real big asshole. You suck.
Rabbit
1903 1915 1927 1939 1951 1963 1975 1987 1999
You are anxious to get out of town. Good idea. Stay in town and you will die. Leave town and you will live, one week longer. Make sure to leave note and erase all porn from home computer.
Dragon
1904 1916 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976 1988 2000
Being popular is wonderful feeling. Being popular because you are "good lay" and "will fuck anything that walk" not so wonderful feeling. You are big slut.
Snake
1905 1917 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977 1989 2001
Nobody like snakes. Most people afraid of them. Most people disgusted by you. Most people would like to see you dead.
Horse
1906 1918 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978 1990 2002
You in a good mood to start, but then you start running into obstacle. Quit acting like such a crybaby. You used to think you were smart, but today you start to wonder. You might think you are not smart, and for once, you will be right.
Goat
1907 1919 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979 1991 2003
You have face like a goat. This most uncommon characteristic. Even among other goats. You never find love. Keep masturbating. It is best you will ever get.
Monkey
1908 1920 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980 1992 2004
You are contemplating great philosophical truths. You may even be in argument with other person. Why not take night off and let your subconscious work on problem? Why not take some acid or some peyote and let the spirit world work on it too? Remember, when in the spirit world, you are invincible. You can also fly, so jump off high building.
Rooster
1909 1921 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981 1993 2005
Money's been on mind. Gooood reason. No keep kissing boss ass, nooooo more money. By the way, it's OK to do THAT if you HAVE to. Ooongaaahhh!
Dog
1910 1922 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982 1994 2006
Dog is going from anarytical to emotional now. That could be one expranation for strange mood swings. Another exprainatin could be that you are just plain nuts. You rearning about nonverbal communication so don't be afraid to use physicral violence.
Pig
1911 1923 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983 1995 2007
Do not let others control you. Ret them know you can only be pushed so far. Ret them know that if they keep it up, you will shoot them in face and rite them on fire. That may surprise them, so be patient.
 
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