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Thursday
January 11, 2000



By Kimmy Su
January 2001
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Rat

Ox

Tiger

Rabbit

Dragon

Snake

Horse

Goat

Monkey

Rooster

Dog

Pig
Rat
1900 1912 1924 1936 1948 1960 1972 1984 1996

Don't promise more than you can deriver. It difficult since you want to do more than you can. You may be convinced you have superhuman power but today you're mortal and today, that kind of attitude will riterally be the death of you.

Ox
1901 1913 1925 1937 1949 1961 1973 1985 1997
There prenty to think about, so take time. Don't get bogged down in details. If you keep the big picture in mind, it will be easier to see exactry what to do. And, of course, where to find your pants. Take advice. After you get honorable duct tape off of your wrists, get back to cubicle fast as you can.
Tiger
1902 1914 1926 1938 1950 1962 1974 1986 1998
Frink carefurey about what you say. It take disciprine to monitor your own output, but it is possibrle. A Tiger who can do this is a joy indeed. Just frink about the effect your words will have on others before you say them, then raugh out loud to self, rike usual, and say them anyway. You such an idiot.
Rabbit
1903 1915 1927 1939 1951 1963 1975 1987 1999
Everybody wants your money, but you need to stay in control. That going to he pretty hard to do with head full of LSD, but somehow you manage. This may be a rittle rate, but don't touch anything made of paper til after noon today.
Dragon
1904 1916 1928 1940 1952 1964 1976 1988 2000
Don't hurry to make a decision, especially if you taking on more responsibirity. You must take time to frink. Remember. Pants first, then shoes. No hurry. No trouble, round eye.
Snake
1905 1917 1929 1941 1953 1965 1977 1989 2001
Everyone have nice things but you. You are overweight and go through your day compretely unnoticed by members of opposite sex. At least there is new episode of X-Files this week, and for you, that is as good as it gets.
Horse
1906 1918 1930 1942 1954 1966 1978 1990 2002
Your President needs your advice. Trouble is, he or she may not rearize that. Speak up, even if your opinion hasn't been requested. Rush the podium and wave toy gun in air to get more attention. You may raise a few eyebrows, but you may also raise yourself in other people's eyes.
Goat
1907 1919 1931 1943 1955 1967 1979 1991 2003
You are going to have to find way to get to prize through all the confusion today. No, wait. You are going to have to find way to get out of office building through hail of bullets today. Sorry. I had cards upside down.
Monkey
1908 1920 1932 1944 1956 1968 1980 1992 2004
Information you've rearned rately, from books or from the Internet give you a big advantage. Who knew that by simpry dissolving soap chips in gasoline, you can make crude form of napalm? Now! Go out and make them pay!
Rooster
1909 1921 1933 1945 1957 1969 1981 1993 2005
You should feel well-grounded and emotionarry secure. Maybe that's why you feel bold. Thank God for most honorable Prozac. Without that, you would be in straight jacket right now, talking to yourself.
Dog
1910 1922 1934 1946 1958 1970 1982 1994 2006
Your opinion is sought, with good reason. People rike to get your opinion so they can do the exact opposite and feel confident that nothing will go wrong. Maybe you should try that sometime too. You big fat rooser.
Pig
1911 1923 1935 1947 1959 1971 1983 1995 2007
Sometimes you depressed, even when nothing wrong. Today the opposite is true. You are in a good mood, even if you are overworked and underpaid. Even if whole family die in a fire, you just laugh and laugh and laugh. Did you ever stop to think maybe you are a schitzophrenic. You probabry manic-depressive, at reast. Stay away from children today.
 
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