Did you know?... Each nostril of a human being register smell in a different way. Smells that are made from the right nostril are more pleasant than the left.


We figured with the kinds of questions we were asking, someone was bound to want to help us. I mean, after all, it was Ramadan for Christ's sake...

From the chat room..

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T
Logging martinfelcher (hwrd1.md.home.comcast.eatme.net 666.123.xyz.abc) into the chat system...
You are in Arab Chat:2 (discussing issues concerning the Arab community)
palestinejeruselem left the room
cicabell2000 left the room
angelomenendez joined the room
martinfelcher: Hey
firaz_66 joined the room
martinfelcher: Hey
martinfelcher: What's going on in here?
hajarbixter joined the room
martinfelcher: Hello?
martinfelcher: Why isn't anyone talking?
martinfelcher: Are you all communicating through hidden maps in porno sites?
jessabell2929 joined the room
martinfelcher: Somebody fucking answer me god dammit!!
martinfelcher: I need some help!
hajarbixter: it sounds like it
i_miss_u_2_much joined the room
martinfelcher: Hey Haji!
martinfelcher: What's going on?
martinfelcher: I need some help.
hajarbixter: sup
goodboy-13 left the room
martinfelcher: Do you know how to fly a plane?
hajarbixter: yes
rakan_vip joined the room
martinfelcher: Cool. I can use you.
martinfelcher: Where are you right now?
hajarbixter: the US
martinfelcher: Yeah. Where in the US?
I_miss_u_2_much left the room
hajarbixter: Cali
beautiful_greeneye joined the room
martinfelcher: Ok. Listen.
martinfelcher: Try to use more than three words per sentence.
martinfelcher: It will help us communicate better.
hajarbixter: aha
martinfelcher: Rrrright. Ok.
martinfelcher: hang on a second there, Punjab. I'm going to IM you.
beautiful_greeneye left the room

Back to IM...

martinfelcher: Hey man.
martinfelcher: Hello?
martinfelcher: Hey Rawa, are you still there?
martinfelcher: Hurry up!
martinfelcher: What the fuck do all of these controls do?
martinfelcher: None of this was in the flight-sim game I used to learn this shit.
martinfelcher: Hello?
martinfelcher: Are you going to help me or not!!??

hajarbixter: -no.
hajarbixter: sorry for you
martinfelcher: You cock sucker!
martinfelcher: Why the hell did you say you would then?
martinfelcher: I don't have much fuel left, you fucking prick!!

Back to the chat room..

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T
Logging martinfelcher (hwrd1.md.home.comcast.eatme.net 666.123.xyz.abc) into the chat system...
You are in Arab Chat:2 (discussing issues concerning the Arab community)
nono666 left the room
lydiahope joined the room
rockin_the_U_S_A joined the room
martinfelcher: Hello?
martinfelcher: Is anyone there?
martinfelcher: Look. I'm in big fucking trouble. Can one of you help me?
jangles_KY joined the room
martinfelcher: Somebody fucking answer me god dammit!!
martinfelcher: I need some help!
catawba_county_hitman: you need somebody killed?
martinfelcher: Well.. Yeah. Sort of.
martinfelcher: Can you help?
martinfelcher: I'll IM you. Hang on.
***defnitlyconfused is being ignored by one voice chatter.
rockin_the_U_S_A: lol
moysoyahh2000 joined the room

Back to IM...

martinfelcher: hey
martinfelcher: Are you there?
catawaba_county_hitman: yes
martinfelcher: jesus Christ.
martinfelcher: Finally
martinfelcher: I caouldn' ewoi
martinfelcher: I couldn't get anyone to help me..
martinfelcher: Sorry, I hit some turbulence there for a minute.
martinfelcher: Hey.
martinfelcher: Are you there!!?? Don't leave!!
catawaba_county_hitman: ok
martinfelcher: Ok. Look. I need help and I don't have much fuel left, ok?
martinfelcher: So we need to speed this up a little bit.
catawaba_county_hitman: what
martinfelcher: What? What do you mean 'what?'
martinfelcher: Flying this plane, man! THE PLANE!
martinfelcher: HOW THE FUCK DO I DO IT ?!?
martinfelcher: What are all of these knobs and buttons all over the place?!
catawaba_county_hitman: not my department dude
martinfelcher: What?
martinfelcher: Are you Arabic?
martinfelcher: Where the fuck is Catawba County in Saudi Arabia anyway?
martinfelcher: God dammit. I should have known!!
catawaba_county_hitman: no
catawaba_county_hitman: but dumbass i can find you too if i want

martinfelcher: You fucking asshole!! I'm going to run out of fuel and hit the fucking ground!!
martinfelcher: You piece of shit.
martinfelcher: It's probably too late now!
martinfelcher: Give me your address!
martinfelcher: I'm going to fly this thing right down your fucking chimney!!
martinfelcher: ANSWER ME GOD DAMN YOU!!

Back to the chat room....

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T
martinfelcher: Look.
joined the room
: ********
left the room
rockin_the_U_S_A: yo man
martinfelcher: I need some help, and I need it quickly.
joined the room
martinfelcher: I'm in big fucking trouble here
: snoop dogg
martinfelcher: I don't have much time left
left the room
joined the room
: shut up martin
martinfelcher: Do any of you mother fuckers know how to fly a plane?
catawba_county_hitman: you stupid!

martinfelcher: Shut up, you idiot. Someone else.
*** khahaus is being ignored by two voice chatters.
brainsnbeauty24: hey rock
jihad_83 left the room

catawba_county_hitman: im the hit man around here
rockin_the_U_S_A: hey girl
martinfelcher: Fuck you catawba_county hitman, you prick bastard
martinfelcher: You call yourselves terrorists?
brainsnbeauty24: yes martin i know how to fly a plane now where do you live?
brainsnbeauty24: lol
left the room
rockin_the_U_S_A: lol
martinfelcher: You guys aren't terrorists.
nananb3_nanoon: hi people
martinfelcher: You're all a bunch of pussies!
*** khahaus is being ignored by two voice chatters.

martinfelcher: I'm going to the motherfucking Northern Ireland room.
martinfelcher: Those guys will help me.
martinfelcher: You all suck
sana_karamna joined the room
joined the room
brainsnbeauty24: we will miss you martin
martinfelcher: Yeah. blow me.
rockin_the_U_S_A: lol
xxxcamforu joined the room
martinfelcher: Oh yeah. Happy Ramadan, you assholes.
martinfelcher: I almost forgot
khalouse: no way!
khalouse: lol
martinfelcher left the room

Enter Mike Williams, Special Agent for the F.B.I.

You are in Arab Chat:2(discussing issues in the Arab community)T
Logging mikewilliams27 (hwrd1.md.home.comcast.eatme.net 666.123.xyz.abc) into the chat system...
You are in Arab Chat:2 (discussing issues concerning the Arab community)
mikewilliams27: Good morning.
rockin_the_U_S_A: american
nananb3_nanoon: oh thx
nananb3_nanoon: i'm male from palestine and livin palestine also
radwan2001 left the room
theanylist joined the room

rockin_the_U_S_A: yes
mikewilliams27: I am tracking a user names Martin Felcher.
mikewilliams27: Has he been in this room recently?
brainsnbeauty24: what message rock?
rockin_the_U_S_A: let me show you
khalous left the room
brainsnbeauty24: yes he was
morocobest left the room
mikewilliams27: How long ago?
brainsnbeauty24: about 5 minutes ago
nananb3_nanoon: brain where from
brainsnbeauty24: usa
mikewillaims27: Did he say where he was going?
nananb3_nanoon: nice to meet you friend
kat956d joined the room
mikewilliams27: One moment, brains. I will contact you directly.
emad_mayan joined the room
branisnbeauty24: likewise nanan
safranprincess joined the room

Back to IM...

mikewilliams27: hello?
mikewilliams27: Did he say what room he was going to next?
mikewilliams27: This is very important.
mikewilliams27: I am a special agent with the FBI
mikewilliams27: If he was on his way to the Northern Irish chat room, we may all be in very grave danger.
Brainsnbeauty24: Well that's where he said he was going to.
mikewilliams27: That's what I was afraid of.
mikewilliams27: Do you have any idea what this means?
Brainsnbeauty24: no what
mikewilliams27: I can't tell you, but trust me. It is serious.
mikewilliams27: Where are you right now?
Brainsnbeauty24: at home why
mikewilliams27: No. I mean, what state are you in?
mikewilliams27: I'm in Washington DC, in case you didn't know.
mikewilliams27: Our headquarters is there.
Brainsnbeauty24: im in arizona
mikewilliams27: Drat! I was afraid of that.
mikewilliams27: How old are you?
Brainsnbeauty24: 19 how old are you
Brainsnbeauty24: are you really an agent for the fbi?

mikewilliams27: I'm 47. Isn't that what I said?
mikewilliams27: Listen. Since Felcher was headed to that Northern Ireland room, we both might not have long to live.
Brainsnbeauty24: what! Why
mikewilliams27: Felcher is a terrorist.
mikewilliams27: Did he mention anything about being near a plane?
Brainsnbeauty24: he kept asking people to help him fly one
Brainsnbeauty24: he made it seem like he was in one

mikewilliams27: Curses!!
mikewilliams27: Maam'. I'm afraid that we are both about to die.
Brainsnbeauty24: that's not funny.
mikewilliams27: I'm sorry, but I just thought you should know.
Brainsnbeauty24: Your freaking me out with that
mikewilliams27: Listen.
mikewilliams27: I'm 47 years old, and..
mikewilliams27: well…
Brainsnbeauty24: what
mikewilliams27: Well, since we're both probably going to die soon…
mikewilliams27: I was wondering…
Brainsnbeauty24: what
mikewilliams27: Well, you see. I've never been with a woman before.
mikewilliams27: You see. I still live at home with my mother.
mikewilliams27: I have over 27 cats and women just don't seem to he attracted to me.
mikewilliams27: I thought that when I got this job that the woman would really find me attractive
mikewilliams27: But they just don't.
Brainsnbeauty24: this is crazy
mikewilliams27: This whole, mixed up world we live in is crazy, Brains.
mikewilliams27: Too bad it's all about to end.
Brainsnbeauty24: your scaring me with all of that so just quit it
mikewilliams27: I'm sorry, my dear.
mikewilliams27: I'm just being honest.
mikewilliams27: So look. Let's get to it.
Brainsnbeauty24: get to what
mikewilliams27: To the sex. What do you mean, 'get to what?'
Brainsnbeauty24: I don't think so
mikewilliams27: I just told you. We're both about to die!
mikewilliams27: Felcher is probably got you in his sites right now!!
mikewilliams27: I'm almost 50 years old, and I've never been with a woman before.
mikewilliams27: I know it will only be cyber sex, I can live with that
mikewilliams27: We've got a lot of ground to cover between now and the time Felcher slams that plane full of nuclea…
mikewilliams27: Whoops.
mikewilliams27: Forget I said that.
Brainsnbeauty24: you must think im really stupid
mikewilliams27: Yeah, but what does that matter now?
mikewilliams27: You'll be a permanent shadow on the asphalt in about 30 minutes.
mikewilliams27: So let's get to the sex!
mikewilliams27: Ok, I've never done any of this, but I have a lot of fantasies that I want to try out before we're both incinerated, ok?
mikewilliams27: Do you know what a Donkey Punch is?
Brainsnbeauty24: no. I gotta go. Your not really from the fbi
mikewilliams27: No, wait! Please don't go!
mikewilliams27: I'll take is slow. Ok?
Brainsnbeauty24: no I don't think so I have to get ready for work
mikewilliams27: Your work will be vaporized in less than 1 hour.
mikewilliams27: Have you ever heard the term, "Dirty Sanchez"?
Brainsnbeauty24: no
mikewilliams27: How about snowballing? Do you know what that is?
mikewilliams27: What about a 'Hot lunch"?
mikewilliams27: You like hot lunches?
Brainsnbeauty24: bye
mikewilliams27: Will you pee on me?
mikewilliams27: I mean, virtually, of course.
mikewilliams27: Sort of like cyber peeing?
mikewilliams27: Can I call you so you can pee into the phone?
mikewilliams27: I'll hold it up to my face while you do it…
mikewilliams27: Just pee on the receiver and I'll pour a glass of warm water over my head.
mikewilliams27: Hello?
Brainsnbeauty24: <User Brainsnbeauty19 has logged out>

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