UPDATE: If you've seen this conversation online with the names changed to Bloodninja and Sweet-17, you should know that FUGLY.COM IS THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR of this chat log. If you see it elsewhere, please contact us and report it so we can ask them to give us credit.
And fuck you, Bloodninja, whoever you are. You suck, and the only funny IM conversations you have on that page that's been passed all over the Web are the ones you stole from us. Loser.
Cheesedog: who is this?
VictimX_26: just a someone?
Cheesedog: A someone I know?
Cheesedog: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
VictimX_26: well sorrrrrry
VictimX_26: I just wanted to chat with you
VictimX_26: nevermind your an asshole
Cheesedog: Hey wait a minute
Cheesedog: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
VictimX_26: of what?
Cheesedog: No. I'm in hiding.
Cheesedog: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Cheesedog: This shit is serious!
VictimX_26: What are you hiding from?
Cheesedog: The cops.
VictimX_26: gimme a fucking break
Cheesedog: I'm serious.
VictimX_26: I don't get it
Cheesedog: The cops are after me.
VictimX_26: For what?
Cheesedog: I'm wanted in three states
Cheesedog: It's kindof embarrasing.
Cheesedog: I had sex with a turkey.
VictimX_26: You are fucking sick.
Cheesedog: Send me your picture.
Cheesedog: so I know you aren't one of them.
VictimX_26: One of what?
Cheesedog: The cops.
VictimX_26: I'm not a cop i told you
Cheesedog: Then send me your picture.
VictimX_26: hold on
Cheesedog: Hurry up.
Cheesedog: Are you there?
Cheesedog: Fuck you, cop!
VictimX_26: Hey sorry
VictimX_26: I had to do something for my mom.
Cheesedog: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Cheesedog: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Cheesedog: Weren't you!?
VictimX_26: thats not it
Cheesedog: Then what?
VictimX_26: I don't want to send you the picture
cause I'm not pretty
Cheesedog: Most cops aren't
VictimX_26: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU SHITHEAD!
Cheesedog: Then send me the picture.
VictimX_26: fine. What's your e-mail?
Cheesedog: Just send it through here.
VictimX_26: alright *PIC*
VictimX_26: Did you get it?
Cheesedog: Hold on. I'm looking.
VictimX_26: That was me back in may
VictimX_26: I've lost weight since then.
Cheesedog: I hope so
VictimX_26: that hurt my feelings.
Cheesedog: Did it?
VictimX_26: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than
Cheesedog: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Cheesedog: Alright let me find it.
Cheesedog: Okay here it is. *PIC*
VictimX_26: this isn't you.
Cheesedog: I'll be damned if it ain't!
VictimX_26: You don't look like that.
Cheesedog: How the hell do you know?
VictimX_26: cause your profile has another picture.
Cheesedog: The profile pic is a fake.
Cheesedog: I use it to hide from the cops.
VictimX_26: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Cheesedog: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Cheesedog: Not to mention all the groceries.
VictimX_26: Go fuck yourself
Cheesedog: I was going to until I saw that picture
Cheesedog: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
VictimX_26: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
VictimX_26: You've done nothing but slam me.
VictimX_26: you hurt me.
Cheesedog: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
VictimX_26: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Cheesedog: Why would I do that?
VictimX_26: I can't believe that cops are after
Cheesedog: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
VictimX_26: FUCK YOU!!!
Cheesedog: You'd break both of his legs.
VictimX_26: You're a fucking asshole.
VictimX_26: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
VictimX_26: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Cheesedog: Ok. I'm sorry.
VictimX_26: No you aren't
Cheesedog: You're right. I'm not.
VictimX_26: I'm done with you
Cheesedog: Aww. I'm sorry.
VictimX_26: I'm putting you on ignore
Cheesedog: Wait a sec
Cheesedog: We got off on the wrong foot.
Cheesedog: Wanna start over?
Cheesedog: I'll eat your pussy
VictimX_26: You'll what?
Cheesedog: You heard me.
Cheesedog: I said I'd eat your pussy.
VictimX_26: I thought you said you couldn't get
it hard after seeing my picture
Cheesedog: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
VictimX_26: I'd like to know that the man eating
me out is excited yes
Cheesedog: Well I'm not like most men.
Cheesedog: I get excited in different ways.
VictimX_26: Like what?
Cheesedog: Do you really wanna know?
VictimX_26: I don't know
Cheesedog: You have to tell me yes or no.
VictimX_26: I'm afraid to
Cheesedog: cause why?
VictimX_26: well lets see
VictimX_26: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you
wanna eat me out
VictimX_26: doesn't that seem strange to you?
VictimX_26: well its strange to me
Cheesedog: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
VictimX_26: I didn't say that
Cheesedog: So is that a yes?
VictimX_26: I guess so.
Cheesedog: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Cheesedog: Are you willing?
VictimX_26: What do you need me to do?
Cheesedog: I need you talk like a pirate.
Cheesedog: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
VictimX_26: You can't be serious
Cheesedog: Oh yes I am!
Cheesedog: It's my fantasy.
VictimX_26: this is retarded
Cheesedog: Do you want it or not?
VictimX_26: Yes I want it.
Cheesedog: Then you'll do it for me?
VictimX_26: sure :)
Cheesedog: Ok. Here we go.
Cheesedog: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Cheesedog: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against
Cheesedog: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Cheesedog: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
VictimX_26: mmmm yeah
Cheesedog: uh oh ...going limp.
Cheesedog: You gotta do better than that!
Cheesedog: Your picture was really bad.
Cheesedog: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every
Cheesedog: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Cheesedog: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to
Cheesedog: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
VictimX_26: mmmmmm you are good
Cheesedog: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Cheesedog: going limp
Cheesedog: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Cheesedog: You begin to sway back and forth.
Cheesedog: going limp
VictimX_26: this is stupid
Cheesedog: ...still limp
Cheesedog: Do it!
Cheesedog: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Cheesedog: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Cheesedog: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Cheesedog: They stink really bad.
VictimX_26: OMG STOP!!!
Cheesedog: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Cheesedog: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Cheesedog: I ram it up your ass.
VictimX_26: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Cheesedog: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Cheesedog: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Cheesedog: I kick you in the face!
VictimX_26: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Cheesedog: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Cheesedog: Your parrot flys away.
Cheesedog: ...going limp again.
Cheesedog: Say it!
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